Full-Time Mobile App Developer / Timelord
NOTE: This job listing has expired and may no longer be relevant!
This is usually the point where you read about working as part of an exciting, fun, high-energy team working on exciting cloud-based technologies in a fast-paced environment for delivery to an exciting and fast-growing market. By my count, that’s 3 “excitings” in the first sentence alone. Pah!
Everyone out there is chasing you. Your skills are in demand. Why do you care about VirtuOz? What do we do? You have an internet connection and I’m sure you’ll look it up but we’ll save you a spot of bother and summarize here: We make robots. To date, no physical ones (sadly) and not anything like as cool as a Terminator (sigh). But we think our Intelligent Virtual Agents are awesome. Don’t think Siri, think HAL-9000, or if you’re a whippersnapper, Iron Man’s suit. On your phone. And every one comes with the three laws of robotics built in. The only things we can think of that would be cooler to work on are rockets and jetpacks and lasers.
Here’s what we expect you to do:
* Build mobile apps. Cool ones. Apps that will pwn the standard for mobile virtual agents.
* We’re an agile team, so you need to be around for the stand up. Aside from that, we don’t care if you code from the moon, other than to ask if we can have a go at coding from the moon too. How do you get an internet connection from up there anyway?
* Pitch in on the other development tasks.
* Experiment with cool new technologies and let everyone else know why they’re cool and why we should use them.
We expect you to have
* Built the odd iPhone or Android app.
* Do you know iOS 4? What about 5? If you have played with 6 then perhaps we’ll let you join the team.
* Can you tell us why it’s damnably tricky to make Android apps look the same across different devices? How do you deal with that? Tell us and together we’ll rule the galaxy as father and son/daughter.
* A sense of humor. If you think this posting is light-hearted, that’s fine. If you confuse a jocular tone with unprofessionalism, then we’re sure the next posting will have the correct number of excitings for you.
* An open attitude towards doing whatever it takes. We’re not going to whip you into a near-death experience, nor are there any coal mines in the immediate vicinity (that we’re aware of) but we set a high bar, even if using the high jump metaphor is terribly cliched.
You’ve read the pitch. So what makes us different? Well, for starters, you probably won’t get to work with us. When you interview, you’ll talk to the whole team: other developers and scary people specialized in the dark arts like product development and marketing (don’t worry too much – they’ll be chained up) because we want you to be as comfortable with us as we are with you. You’ll have to jump through hoops. We won’t offer you a job on the strength of a phone call. You’ll have to answer coding questions. You’ll have to do it on the phone and you’ll have to do a lot of it in the office, in front of the team. Wearing a fez. Because fezzes are cool.
Now, why do you have to jump through the aforementioned hoops? The answer is that we have a very good team and we don’t want to dilute it in any way. But that’s not enough: It’s not yet a great team and we very much want to evolve into a great team. Our standard for what constitutes ‘great’ is very much higher than that of other companies. That’s where you come in.
If you think you might fit, let us know. We’ve got enough hot stuff lined up to keep a warehouse of Frigidaires busy.
Extra points if you bring a fez.
How to Apply
Send your resume to email@example.com.